Me and dusty birb 🥰🥰

I love dusty birb so so much <3

I love pickle and kiwi too 🥺🥺🥺 so very much

I’ll never get over how pure and innocent and cute they all are. They really are my world 😭😭 also can’t move when the birds are sleepy. Sleepy birbs. <3

I always thought I was different than everyone else when I was a kid… Turns out I wasn’t really being that edgy at all saying that! (Only just a little cringe.) I was just autistic! XD  LMAO.

I used to think when I worked that I would gradually get more and more anxiety throughout the day. I realized now that I’m wrong. I clearly can’t tell my emotions, which I knew about. The more anxiety I would feel was simply me being tired… reaching a breakdown. It feels like anxiety since I can’t breathe and strat to panic then cry… it’s just my body telling me I need to rest. And it doesn’t seem to matter if it’s physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion, I eventually am shaking with “anxiety”. I need to learn to take more breaks. I realized this when I got my anxiety attack while I was working all day on my computer 😅😅😅

My fiancée mentioned I’m going to become a lolcow eventually… which is awesome because I always wanted to be one. And I’m only me and I only act as me. So if I become one then that means I’ve always been one. 😆😆😆

I just became irrationally angry because of my fiancée mentioning the project. I hate that I’m that way but they hate me too so I don’t care. Fuck that project.

I try so hard to not let it anger me but it does. And it has for months. And the only thing I’ve gotten was banned from it. And like who cares, they just wanted me to do artwork for them for free without even really asking me about it.

I don’t know if I’m really delusional or crazy or what. But the project makes me physically ill. I’m glad I’ll never be a part of it. And it is on my mind because he has to work on it every week and I have to drive him so he can be there but I can’t park there because I hurt their feelings and it’s a bunch of shit.

If they don’t like my pov or my social media presence then idk why they just didn’t block me. It’s pretty obvious I’m a boring square. I’m old. They are old too but not people I want to be around.

I’m actually really mad while I’m typing this. 😅😅 I can’t stop crying. I’m so sad. I hate this a lot. ;/

I have decided once again that I’m being irrational. I hope that’s all it really is… it just sucks so much. Ugh.

I really don’t mean to be a baby… I guess I am just one. I have been trying to grow up forever. I’ve been trying so hard. Maybe it’s not possible for someone like me.. but I’ll always keep trying.

Maybe I’m just hormonal. I don’t even know anymore. My hormones have been really off.

Maybe being autistic is just this. And if so, I have no idea why so many people romanticize it.